There's a Hole in my Sock :(

I don't remember putting it there.  Still, it is there and I am not quite certain why.  My other sock is just like this one but there is not a hole in it.  My toe nails are not long so it could not have happened that way.  In fact, the nails of the toes on my other foot are in worse shape than these are and yet there are no holes in that sock.  So, how did it get there?

Socks are very strange.  When we buy socks we don't have to have the exact size to fit the foot like we do when we buy shoes.  Why is that?  When I pick up some socks in the department store and look at the size they say that they will fit anyone from Tom Cruise to Big Foot.  What?  How can that be?  Everybody knows that Tom has tiny feet.  Well, it can't.  Still I am forced to buy the ones for Big Foot and let all the ladies know without a doubt that I have little feet because they can see the heel portion of the sock is half way up the back of my leg.  But so goes the world of sock buying.  I wonder if wealthy people have their socks tailored to fit.  Probably so, and they would be the ones who own the sock making corporations that tell me I have to wear Big Foot socks.  This has got to be some level of discrimination.

I often think that we don't understand socks at all.  What if we are wrong about them being knitted in some factory somewhere?  What if they are knitted naturally, as in nature takes care of that for us?  Shouldn't we be told that we are buying Organic socks?  They won't confess to this but did you know that you can purchase Organic socks on the Commodities Market?*  Somewhere in a third world country there are sock farms.  They grow socks on special cotton plants.  The size of the cotton ball determines the size of the sock.  That would explain why there are only 3 sizes of socks!   There's baby socks, kid socks, and the giant ones I have to wear.   Once the cotton ball is picked it is taken to the factory where they unfold the cotton ball to see the size of the sock.  Some are set aside to forever be the white socks and others are seperated into lots that will be dyed to some other color.  That is what they don't want you to know.  They would prefer that we think all socks are handmade through some elaborate process so that they can charge more for them. 

Truth is, you can probably go to a seed store and purchase the seeds that will enable you to grow your own socks.  But there are cotton socks and polyester socks in the stores for us to choose from.  How do you explain that?  Well, those socks are a little bit more tricky to make.  First of all, nobody really knows what polyester is.  You just can't make this stuff up.  The facts are that polyester comes from a plant too.  These plants only grow in the South American rain forests or deep in side Africa in the Congo.  The Plantairious Esterdepolious can only survive in very hot climates with a lot of moisture.   National Geographic won't tell you this either, probably because they are in the pockets of crooked politicians, but when you see pictures of South American Indians or African tribesmen running around the forest half naked, it is because it is hot out there and they are working to remove the fine threadlike substance from these plants.  They normally carry them in bundles on their heads to the local Bwana and sell them.   That thread is then taken to the sweat shops in third world countries and woven into socks or lawn chairs. The polyester would be the man made socks and the cotton are most likely Organic.  That's why they cost more. 

There you have it.  Until now, only the Illuminati and Tom Hanks had knowlege of this.**    





* joke      ** Oh what the heck.  This whole thing is a joke.

Mission Accomplished!!..........almost

Finally, the Rock has come back to..........wait a minute.  Sorry about that.  I got carried away.  This has nothing to do with The Rock.   Actually, it has to do with my reaching a goal that I have been wanting to reach for several decades.   That goal, I am proud to say is that I finished my first book complete with the final edit and everything.  All that is left now is to find a publisher.   Unfortunately, I don't know one personally so I will need to beg.  That's alright too.  I am accustomed to begging.  Just ask my wife.  Usually it's begging her not to go all Lorena Bobbitt on me.  So far, so good.  Now if I can just find a publisher that likes me as much as my wife does.  Maybe I can manage to get published without the need for castration.  Wouldn't that be cool?


Now that I've reached my goal in life, what will I do next?  Kill myself and get it over with?  No.  I don't have time for that nor the tolerance for the pain it would cause me.  So, instead, I have decided to write again!  Yes, that is correct.   I am going to write another book.  Maybe if publishers see that I am not going to go away, they will publish me out of pity.  Hey!  I am not so proud that I can't accept a little pity publishing.  Pity me as much as you want.  Just buy my book so I can eat.


These past few weeks I have had ideas for new books pop into my head but I refused to start it for fear that I may forget that I needed to finish the first one first.  Now that that time has passed, I can feel free to let my mind wander and entertain new ideas.  After all, this is fun!

Point of View.

I am not going to start in on what’s wrong with this country.  Instead, I am going to ramble a little bit about one of the things that made our country great that we don’t do very much anymore.  Colloquialisms.   We used to be a nation so full of colloquialisms that it was fun and we just confounded other nations with our way of speaking.   Aahh, those were the days.  We were a nation with a personality.   Funny thing about it is that everyone around that nation knew exactly what you were saying.   Nowadays, you don’t often hear the word ‘nowadays’ because it is considered to be poor grammar and just plain uneducated.   We are more concerned with how we are perceived by the rest of the world that we have forgotten where we come from.

Sadly, we don’t see ourselves as a bunch of farmers that want to live in freedom and in peace.   In fact, we don’t see many farmers across our land.  Instead, those farms have been sold to make way for commerce and real estate development.   It used to be that America fed the world.  Now its America is indebted so much to the rest of the world that we probably won’t own our own country in the next hundred years.  

These days, it is considered to be successful not if you have a good family and good health.  Instead, the measurement is placed on how much money you make and what type of job you have.  So, we concentrate on not whether Johnny can tie his own shoes, look before he crosses a street, climb a tree and dig a hole with his hands.  What seems of more importance now is at what age he can calculate the value of Pi. The sooner the better.  There may be kids in Japan or India who can do that ate 8 months of age and we don’t want that to happen.  So, we force feed all this knowledge into their little heads at the earliest possible age rather than let them play and grow up naturally.   So what if he falls and gets a minor cut.  Let him.  He will learn more from that than from our drumming book smarts into his brain.

I say stop comparing ourselves to the rest of the world and let’s just go back to being ourselves.   Say something in public that will make someone’s head spin.  Have fun!  Enjoy life!