I Have Man Boobs!!!!!

I'd say I'm about a C cup.  Maybe I should start wearing a bra.  Maybe I could design a belly bra!  You know, something to add support for my large gut that would help to take the strain off my back and make my pants fit around my waist so that I look human.


I started this blog several weeks ago after a long look at myself in the mirror.  Trust me, the sight of me naked is hideous and would make you want to abandon sex for good.  Ok, I'm not Jabba the Hutt fat but still I'm much more than is healthy.  Anyway, I had to stop writing for two reasons: A) problems with managing my own thoughts while dealing with Multiple Sclerosis often makes it very difficult to concentrate on what I'm doing, and B) I slipped on the ice and broke my shoulder.  It isn't easy to sit here even now and type.  


Still here I am, a dedicated trouper, writing anything for anyone who cares to read.  I'm sorry, I drifted away for a moment.  I heard a delivery truck across the street making some  noise and it caused my mind to wander away for a moment.  Now what was I saying?  I don't know.  Too many distractions today.  I hear a neighbor  a few doors down who is using a chain saw to cut up some trees that were damaged by the snow and a small plane that is flying overhead.  I'm finding it difficult to concentrate.  I will come back to this later.


Well, here we are another day now.  Have you been waiting on me?  You have?  Thank you so much!  It feels so good to know that I have faithful readers.  However, I must say that if indeed you have been looking at you computer screen for the last 24 hours waiting patiently on my return, it's a little freaky.  Surely you can find something else to fill your day with.  I appreciate the loyalty but I have to tell you, I'm not the only writer out there.  There are others.  Some are pretty good.  I encourage you to expand your horizon.


Anyway, it's 10 days til Christmas.  Yay!!  I don't get into all the gifting though, mostly because I can't afford too.  My grandchildren will grow up hating me I guess.  Maybe one day I can right this wrong.  I hope so.  That is part of my motivation to write.  Maybe by the time they are older I can be in a position to do things for them.  


Oh well, in case you haven't figured this out just yet, I'm doing a lot of rambling here.  I had to take a Percocet to ease the pain in my arm and I'm trying to get this done before I get drowsy.


It's a beautiful day outside!  I hope you all get to enjoy it.  Thanks so much for checking in on me.  I pray that God blesses you all.

Behind the Blinds

Good afternoon to you all.  Today is Tuesday, November 22, 2011, two more days until Thanksgiving day. I guess the normal question this time of year is what am I thankful for?  I am thankful for a lot of things, but most important is that I am thankful to Jesus Christ, who is my Lord and Saviour.  Because of what He did I am forgiven for my sin and will one day live in His Kingdom.  All pain, fear and heartache will be gone forever and love, joy and happiness will prevail.  As I observe the direction of the world it has become so apparent to me that we are indeed living in the last days.  Either it will all end or we will kill each other off.  We are so stupid.
So, I am thankful that my family is blessed with God's grace and will one day be there where He is.   I hope you are all equally blessed.  May each of you have a wonderful holiday.


I sit here in my living room, lights off and just staring at the walls.  I hear traffic go by every now and then but I  keep my blinds closed, so I can't see what is going on outside.  I am sure that it is just everyday stuff; people going to and from the lake or just passing through to get to the other side of town.  All in all this is a nice quiet neighborhood.  I like sitting here without the distractions that can interfere with my train of thought.  I like being alone with my thoughts.  Our dogs like it too.  No TV blaring, the only sound I hear is of the dogs playing and my space heater that warms my feet. 


I think about family and my writing.  My wife is my hero.  If not for her, I would be dead already.  For some strange reason she loves me and I feel it every day.  I love her with my entire soul.  Just yesterday, I was experiencing some of the effects of MS.  I was nearly a zombie, but new enough that I needed to clean the kitchen and get to cooking dinner.  I was very slow, though in my mind I couldn't tell it.  I could only concentrate on one thing at a time.  By that I mean, washing one dish at a time not recognizing the many dishes that were in the sink.  Each dish was an adventure in itself.  I was weak, physically and mentally.  If not for the cabinet to lean on I would have fallen.  My wife, having just come home from her day at work, recognized my condition very quickly and came and made me sit down while she did it all.   A few hours later I began to feel better.  Today there are some residual effects but at least I am able to cope.  


I think about calling my mom but then I am reminded that Thursday is Thanksgiving and I should wait and do it then.  There may be other family members at my mom's house then and I can talk with them too.  So, I'll wait. 


Looking at the blinds of my front window I can see the pattern of sunlight highlighting a portion of the blinds and that tells me that the sun is out and is a beautiful day here.  The weather people say it is going to be nice for Thanksgiving.  I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy the presence of family.  God Bless you all.

Not What I Was Going To Write About

Good Friday to you all! The weather is great here in Denver and it is a beautiful day.  I hope you are in one of those places with nice weather too.  This past week has been pretty nice here.  However, it isn't going to last long.  After this weekend of nice weather, we are looking at snowfall for the middle of next week in Denver.  Yes, it has already snowed in Colorado, but that is in the mountains.  In Denver, that makes for a nice view.  There hasn't been any snow in Denver yet.  A lot of folks who have never been here have a mistaken idea of where Denver actually is.  Denver is actually on the plains about ten miles from the foothills of the Rocky Mountains.  However, because the plains are mostly flat and the mountains are pretty big, when you look at them it appears closer than they really are.  So, the good thing about Denver is that we have pretty nice weather most of the time and if you want to go skiing, depending on where you want to play you can be there in 30 minutes to an hour and a half! What a deal!


So, besides all the road construction and repair going on, that is pretty much what is going on here.  No, the Colorado Rockies baseball team didn't make the playoffs because in the summer where they were supposed to be one of the teams to beat, they seemed to perfect the art of losing.  Not that other teams were any better talent wise, but because all our talent resorted to a level of very poor mediocrity.  It may be time to clean house. A few players having a bad season or a bad day is to be expected, but when it becomes the whole team that is that way, there is just no excuse.  Honestly, I know he wasn't the greatest hitter in baseball, but I feel like the team lost its heart and soul when they traded Clint Barmes.  He brought leadership and a positive outlook to the clubhouse that just was not there this year.  Good luck getting it back.


Finally, Tim Tebow gets to show his worth.  The Broncos have decided to replace Kyle Orton as the starting quarterback.  Don't get me wrong, I think Orton is a very good quarterback and probably the best on the team.  What has been wrong with the Broncos is not his fault.  With an impotent offensive line and running backs that run the ball like they are playing flag football, that is doing all this jumping around laterally and getting nowhere rather than taking the ball north and south and getting first downs.  But then again, we have an offensive line that has no balls and can't open a hole in a paper sack, much less a good defense.  Football is won in the trenches, guys.  Your team can have the best quarterback, runningbacks and recievers in the league, but if you don't give them a chance to do their thing in the first place, the game is lost before you ever gear up.  


So, what is Tebow bringing to the table that is missing?  Hopefully, leadership.  Give me somebody that is capable, like Tebow or Orton, it doesn 't matter, who is going to demand professionalism from his line.  The line we have is a mistake.  It was put together by a coach who was on the job training and had too much power.  He just couldn't handle it. Yes, he had good ideas for an offense but had no idea how to put in the people that would get it done,  the O line. 


If the Denver Broncos want to get back to the good ole days where they were respected and feared throughout the league then they will have to start winning the battles at the front line.  Over the past eight to ten years, yes even in the Shanahan era, the Broncos have played like they were afraid to take the ball into the end zone.  They have moved the ball well enough in the open field, but when they get to the red zone they seem to be unable to find their way to the end zone.  Correct that and they will be on their way to getting back to the team they used to be.  Good Luck Tim! I hope he can be the take charge guy they need.


The Nuggets? I just don't care this year. 


The Avalanche is something I am trying to get my head around.  Coming from Arkansas, hockey wasn't a sport that we grew up with and played, so I don't really understand the game that much.  I do, however have an opinion.  I think the game at the professional level can be upgraded to make it more interesting to folks like me.  For instance, the net is too small. If I'm not mistaken they use the same size net for kids to play on.  If I'm right, then I think the pro's should have to defend a bigger net or maybe even put one in each corner, add another goalie and another normal player. It would bring more action to the game and more excitement.  Like I said, I could be all wrong.


Well, I didn't mean to go on about sports, but it appears I did.  I think I just needed to vent.  The fact is right now the only team that means anything to me is not even pro.  It is the Arkansas Razorbacks!  WOOOOOOOO PIG!!!  SOOIE!!!  GO HOGS!!!

Pay No Attention tothe Man Behind the Curtain!

Good evening everyone,

I come to you just a little drunk tonight.  I hope you won't mind.  I don't do this normally at all.  It's just tonight I feel like it.  It's late on Wednesday night and you won't believe what I am watching on TV. I am watching some show about prehistoric Denver.  It's pretty cool!  I am learning so much!

Anyway, I am just writing to be writing.  After all, I haven't written you guys in a couple weeks.   Believe it or not I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel this free! Flying away on a wing and a prayer, who could it be?  Believe it or not it's just me!

Wait. What was I talking about?  Four and a half beers into it and I am forgetting everything.  But it's four and a half good beers. 7.9% alcohol  volume. So, it's more like 6 normal beers! I know, I'm a light weight.  Who cares?  I am feeling good and this show is educational!

So, even though I would like to announce some great news about my book, I beleive that this is not the best way to do it so I will save it for another time, when I am more lucid. 

I hope the world is treating you very well.  Please never forget that God loves you very much. Even it you are a little drunk. Have a great day!

A Nose Job? A Face Lift? Maybe Just a Fighting Chance.

Good Afternoon, Everyone!  I trust all is going well in your neck of the woods.  Everything is fine here.  I have made a decision though.  No, this does not have to do with MS.  Actually, this has to do with my last best chance for making something of myself.  If you've been following along for a while now then you will know that I published my book as an eBook several months ago.  Many of you were gracious enough to buy it and I thank you with all my heart.  I like the idea of the electronic book with a couple of exceptions.  One is that if your reading device fails, so does your library.  Two is the fact that a collection of books in your home says something about you that others can see when they visit. Plus it looks impressive in your home.  

However, there is one thing that I have come to realize over these summer months and that is that a lot of people are still going to book stores and buying printed copies of books.  I don't think that can ever be replaced.  The value of having a printed book does more than just to give you a page to dog ear.  It also serves as a trophy, especially after you have read it.  I think the eBook is a great thing and possibly the wave of the future, but that's just it.  It is the future and like a young tree, it is still growing.  It's nice to be in on the beginning of something like this.  But in my lifetime, I doubt it will overtake the prestige of having a printed copy of a book.

So, I've adopted a new attitude about myself as an author.  Yes, I have written a book.  I'm sure it's not a great book but it is a good read and it is better written than other books I have read that were published by the big book publishers and produced in massive quantities.  I know that I have a lot of growing to do as a writer but I am getting there and this book is a good start.  So, I've decided to give my book a fighting chance among other well read authors.  I've submitted my book to be available in print.  Due to lack of money, I have chosen to publish it through Create Space as it is the only affordable way for me to do that and the quality of the book will be equal to those that are published by the big publishing houses.  Also, it will be made available to a much wider audience.

So, what's all this about a face lift and a fighting chance?  That's just it.  I've changed the title of the book to "On Barnacle Way."  It will also now have a professional cover.  Up until now the covers I've used on 

Amazon were what I could make up on my Paint program on my computer.  Also, the title of the book was too used.  By that I mean that if you do a search for "Lost Hearts" on your computer you will get many hits.  As the new title, "On Barnacle Way" it will stand alone.  What that means is this is a title that will always be attributed to me and not a hundred other people.

What does that mean for you?  Well, if you already have a copy of "Lost Hearts" then you already have the book as an eBook and I do appreciate your support.  However, in few short weeks the same book will be available also in print but under the new title of "On Barnacle Way," for those of you who prefer the printed book.

I feel like I've missed out on a lot of book sales due to not having it in print.  After all, when people go into bookstores, they aren't looking for an eBook. As soon as it is available for print, I will change the name in Amazon too.  So, there you have it.  I'm taking more pride in my work and running with the big guys.

I Had a Dream........an MS dream

Good morning to you all.  I am writing this while it is fresh on my mind.  I was deep inside a dream when Jiggy woke me this morning.  The dream was both frightening to me and rewarding as well.  No, I didn't dream that Jason and Freddie were chasing me.  It wasn't that type of frightening.  I'll explain.

In my dream I was feeling pretty good physically and mentally.  I began dealing with the problems of money.  So, in my dream, I went out and found a job.  Again, I was having one of my good days and I didn't tell the boss about my condition.  I was convinced that I could hide it.  I was hired to be the assistant manager at some fast food restaurant that had way to many offerings on it's menu.  I couldn't understand most of the items that were on the menu but I figured that by watching and observing over time that I could get it and no one would be the wiser.

 Well, my first day at work turned out to be not so good. When I got there the manager opened the back door to let me in and said how glad he was that I was there.  Seems he had some important errands to run and needed to go but promised to show me the ropes later when he returned.  So, that was cool.  I just made myself at home and checked out the back room, kitchen, etc.  

The first thing that got my attention was a break room with a TV in it.  Also in it were 5 or 6 guys watching a football game.  I decided to let that slide because obviously this had been going on while the manager was still here and he must have known about it and been OK with it.  That was all that was happening in the back of the store so I went thru the door that separates the the food prep area from the back room.  There I saw a young man working to not only take food orders but to also cook, prepare and package the food orders.  So, I jumped in to help. Very quickly I noticed that this young man was fastly falling behind and that there were several families waiting on their food.  More hungry people were coming into the restaurant because it was the lunch hour.  I popped my head into the backroom and yelled for help but nobody responded.  I continued to help, not knowing what the items were on the menu or how to prepare them. I was getting flustered and confused. Then the young man decided that he had had enough and left.  I was alone in all this confusion. My vision was becoming blurred and I was getting dizzy.  More and more people were seemingly flooding into the restaurant in search for food to eat.  

Suddenly a few young ladies came in from the back room and began helping. But by now the prep area was a total disaster.  While taking an order from a customer, I began to stutter and my speech was slurring.  The customer thought I was being rude to her and demanded to see the manager.  I was trying to apologize and explain my condition to her but she didn't believe me because when we started I was communicating normally.  One of the girls felt I was being rude as well and stepped in to finish taking the order.  I was so flustered now that I went back to the break room and told the boys that were watching TV that if they don't come up and help out they could all go home and not come back.  Of course, no one knew who I was at this point nor could they understand what I was trying so hard to say.  They laughed and mocked me.

Some more people came into the restaurant and saw me struggling to be normal.  These were people that knew me and they quickly came back to try to help me out.  I was very dizzy and my eyes welled up with tears.  With their help, we finally got things caught up, much to the displeasure of many unhappy customers.

After all was said and done, I tried to have a quick meeting to introduce myself to the workers but by then I was in full MS mode and nobody could understand me and thusly ignored me.  Though I was trying with all my might I could not communicate with anyone and nobody cared.   It was then that Jiggy woke me up.

It was an unsettling way to wake up.  I checked myself to be sure that it was just a dream and it was.  I feel fine this morning.  The dream was just a reminder that I do have this problem and that it can raise its ugly head at any time.  Unlike in my dream, I try to avoid having to concentrate on more than one thing at a time and I stay away from multitasking.  I also try to avoid situations where I may have to speak much or make a decision.  This is my life now.

To Everything turn, turn, turn. There is a Season turn, turn, turn.