What IS a Recovering Writer Supposed To Do?

Hello to all my faithful readers out there in cyber land!  Again, it has been a while since I've been here, due to my illness.  I've just gotten over a nasty fight with pneumonia where I was laid up in the hospital for several weeks.  I'm safe at home now and trying to get back to my regular routine.  

This is my first venture back into writing anything.  I was so drugged up (it doesn't take much) that I could not even focus my thoughts on a single thing for a while.  I have, in fact, been trying to catch up on the news in hopes that something other than politics was happening somewhere that might be interesting to discuss.  There's not been very much, in my mind, to hold my attention and if it won't hold my attention how can I possibly write about it and expect to hold yours?

So, when the world refuses to cooperate and provide me fodder, then I must create my own.

Disclaimer:  The following is not a true story.  It was made up by me.  Any and all people and places appearing in this is purely coincidental and should not be believed   If your name happens to appear somewhere in here, it is just by chance and I was not really referencing you or anyone you know.  After reading this disclaimer, please understand that if you believe this story to be factual, then you are an idiot.

Evolved or Devolved?

Are we getting more and more intelligent as a creature?  Why, getting to the moon is old news now.  These days we are planning trips to Mars and beyond.  It has to be because we are getting smarter and smarter, right? 

What if that just isn't true?  What if what we are discovering isn't new but more old news?  My buddy, Albert Einstein is pretty much considered to be the smartest man of his time.  I am sure that there are others whom we would consider as very brainy even today.  It seems that somebody is "discovering" something new all the time now.

Think on this, If Adam walked with God on this very earth, isn't it likely that Adam learned a lot from the very creator of everything?  Wouldn't that make him the smartest man ever?  God, Himself, must have thought pretty highly of him.  After all, not only did God create man and woman, but He also created every living thing.  Next came the Sabbath and God rested, but He left the responsibility of naming all of this to none other than Adam.  

This must have required a pretty good understanding of all that God had made.  I can't imagine the level of intellect that must have been required to be able to do that.  Adam must have been beyond genius!  I can imagine that Adam probably used much more of his brain than we do today.   I'll bet he could actually use all of it.  There's no telling all the things that Adam and Eve knew, before the fall.  As sin came in, the brain  must have suffered.  Why not?  The rest of the body did.

Here's my theory.  In Adam and Eve, before the fall, we had the most intelligent and able beings to set foot on planet Earth; with the exception of Jesus.  However, after the fall, they were cast out of Eden and forced to live without all the comforts that were afforded them before.  Now they had to make their own way, with somewhat littler knowledge than they had before.  

As time passed from generation to generation, our abilities and knowledge dwindled too, until someone came along that maybe got a gene or something that others didn't and it sparked a part of the brain that others had not be able to access.  A "discovery" was made and it benefited everyone.  It was probably something that the first people already knew. 

Throughout the ages, I propose that we have been less and less able to utilize our brains to the point where today we are only able to access 10%.  Imagine what must be held in that unusable 90%.

So, today I propose that we as humans have not gotten smarter with time, but dumber.  Look throughout the world at all that amazes us about previous civilizations.  "How were they able to do that?" we ask.  Maybe it's because they were able to understand some things better than we are today.  Maybe, they were actually smarter.

I say, that is exactly what happened throughout the centuries.  What we are discovering today is old news that had long been forgotten.  We are actually running out of ideas and the parts of the brain that we will one day be able to access may be only 5% or even 1%.

So I ask you, should we say "evolution" or "devolution".  I would say that since we as the human race is becoming more and more sinful and corrupt in our nature, then we seem to be chasing after the devil.  Hmm.........devil.....devolution.  Seems to fit.  God will one day put a stop to all of this spiraling downfall and we will forevermore be able to walk and talk with Him, like Adam and Eve did before the fall.

There you have it!  My thoughts for the day.  What if I am right?

Behind the Blinds

Good afternoon to you all.  Today is Tuesday, November 22, 2011, two more days until Thanksgiving day. I guess the normal question this time of year is what am I thankful for?  I am thankful for a lot of things, but most important is that I am thankful to Jesus Christ, who is my Lord and Saviour.  Because of what He did I am forgiven for my sin and will one day live in His Kingdom.  All pain, fear and heartache will be gone forever and love, joy and happiness will prevail.  As I observe the direction of the world it has become so apparent to me that we are indeed living in the last days.  Either it will all end or we will kill each other off.  We are so stupid.
So, I am thankful that my family is blessed with God's grace and will one day be there where He is.   I hope you are all equally blessed.  May each of you have a wonderful holiday.


I sit here in my living room, lights off and just staring at the walls.  I hear traffic go by every now and then but I  keep my blinds closed, so I can't see what is going on outside.  I am sure that it is just everyday stuff; people going to and from the lake or just passing through to get to the other side of town.  All in all this is a nice quiet neighborhood.  I like sitting here without the distractions that can interfere with my train of thought.  I like being alone with my thoughts.  Our dogs like it too.  No TV blaring, the only sound I hear is of the dogs playing and my space heater that warms my feet. 


I think about family and my writing.  My wife is my hero.  If not for her, I would be dead already.  For some strange reason she loves me and I feel it every day.  I love her with my entire soul.  Just yesterday, I was experiencing some of the effects of MS.  I was nearly a zombie, but new enough that I needed to clean the kitchen and get to cooking dinner.  I was very slow, though in my mind I couldn't tell it.  I could only concentrate on one thing at a time.  By that I mean, washing one dish at a time not recognizing the many dishes that were in the sink.  Each dish was an adventure in itself.  I was weak, physically and mentally.  If not for the cabinet to lean on I would have fallen.  My wife, having just come home from her day at work, recognized my condition very quickly and came and made me sit down while she did it all.   A few hours later I began to feel better.  Today there are some residual effects but at least I am able to cope.  


I think about calling my mom but then I am reminded that Thursday is Thanksgiving and I should wait and do it then.  There may be other family members at my mom's house then and I can talk with them too.  So, I'll wait. 


Looking at the blinds of my front window I can see the pattern of sunlight highlighting a portion of the blinds and that tells me that the sun is out and is a beautiful day here.  The weather people say it is going to be nice for Thanksgiving.  I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy the presence of family.  God Bless you all.

Multiple Sclerosis.......What a Trip!

It's early this Saturday morning. Our puppy, Jiggy, always wakes me to let me know he needs to go out so that he can potty. So, I get up and let him and his best friend Esther, our other dog, go out to do their business. I usually let them stay out a bit to give them time to "git er done" and to play outside. While they do that I normally go back to bed for more sleep.

Today, Jiggy woke me earlier than normal for the same reasons and I did my usual deed. They, though, started barking their fool heads off. Concerned that the neighbors would like to sleep in this morning, I crawled back out of bed to let them back in the house. I didn't feed them yet but I did give them a dog biscuit and put them back in their kennels.

It was nice for a while, maybe 5 minutes and then Jiggy let me know that he wasn't happy in the kennel this morning and would not let me or my wife sleep until I let him out of the kennel to play with Esther.

While I lay there I started thinking on how my life has changed since MS has reared it's ugly head. I know that I am a little harder to live with now. God bless my wife because she is the one who is catching my mood swings and all the other things that make me think I am an asshole. Well, I do feel that way. A positive outlook is what has always made me a nice guy, but here lately it would seem that positivity only comes by every so often.

Stress, at any level is something that will take me over the edge quickly. By that I mean, the need to make a decision on something as simple as whether or not to wear a blue t-shirt or a grey one today. Throw in a third option and I feel like my brain has left me in the middle of a raging sea without even a life vest to keep me afloat. I get so confused as to which way to swim or how to swim that I feel panicked and I can't do anything. I can feel the stress growing inside of me and sometimes I feel like I am having trouble breathing. Mostly it feels like my brain is trying to figure things out but that feels like it has been sealed up like a mummy and can't move. It's like their is no room for my brain to open its file drawers, much less actually retrieve a file and lay it out on a table to see what is there. There is no room for anything. I can't even get to my files! I am a computer whose hard drive has reached capacity and can't do anything.

They say that MS is an unpredictable disease and it affects everyone differently. Oh, there's also not a cure. For me, it seems that strangling my brain is going to be my lot. There is medication that will help slow the process of the disease, but I can't afford it and my insurance won't cover it. Thank God that I have excellent health insurance. Imagine where I would be if I couldn't pay ungodly amounts of money to my insurance company every month. Wow! I would probably buy that medicine and maybe live a normal life! But this is America and that ain't the way it works.

In America nothing works. It's like an air conditioner on a hot day that has a short in the circuitry and it only comes on for a minute and then shuts off for a few more hot and muggy days. Well, why don't I fix it? It's because I don't have the money to pay for a repair man and I don't know anything about electronics.

The United States Congress is like that. This country is broken and no body wants to fix it. Instead of fixing it like a responsible human would, our Congress is more concerned with how they are going to line their pockets. It doesn't matter which side of the aisle they sit on. It's all the same country and it is in dire need of being fixed. But these people, our Congressmen aren't concerned with the good of the country. They are more loyal to lobbyists than they are to the citizens of this country. They are going to carry on this childish bickering until its too late and this becomes a world wide crisis. Just make a decision. Isn't that what we hired them to do? The U.S. Congress is impotent.

So, I'm caught up in this boat with all of you. I feel most of the time like I am a little drunk and it's not because of alcohol. It's because of the MS. I need to fix it but can't. I need to get the medicine that will slow it's progression, but I can't. Did I mention that my wife is also having to suffer through my impotence because of MS? I really have the best wife in all the world. I feel like I can't make a decision on what to do. I feel like a U.S. Congressman.